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July is a month filled with social get-togethers and barbecues, so it’s an excellent opportunity to discuss social anxiety and how to overcome it.
Imagine you’re at a summer barbecue with a group of people you don’t know very well. You arrive at the party feeling anxious and worried about what the other guests will think of you. As soon as you step into the backyard, you notice everyone seems to be laughing and chatting easily, and you start to feel like you don’t belong.
You see a group of people standing by the grill and consider joining in the conversation, but as you approach, you freeze up and can’t think of anything to say. You start to worry that they’re judging you for being awkward or boring, so you quickly excuse yourself and head to the other side of the yard.
You spot a group of people playing a game and think that might be a good way to break the ice. However, as you approach the group, your heart starts racing and you start sweating. You worry that you’ll make a mistake or say something embarrassing, so you walk past the game and try to blend in with the crowd.
Throughout the party, you feel like you’re on high alert, constantly scanning the room for signs of judgment or criticism. You worry that everyone is watching you and thinking negative thoughts, so you try to stay out of the spotlight and avoid drawing attention to yourself.
At the end of the day, you leave the party feeling exhausted and drained. You wish you could have enjoyed yourself and made new friends, but your social anxiety got in the way.
Having social anxiety can be a challenging and overwhelming experience. Luckily, there are some helpful ways to manage this disorder.
1. Deep breathing: When you start to feel anxious, try taking slow, deep breaths. This can help slow down your heart rate and calm your nerves. Try box breathing, hold for a count of 4, out for a count of 4, and hold for a count of 4.
2. Positive self-talk: Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Instead of telling yourself, “I’m going to mess up” try telling yourself, “I can handle this.” Remind yourself that realistically, people are not judging you, even if it feels that way. Feelings are not facts. Check the evidence.
3. Visualization: Imagine yourself successfully navigating a social situation, such as a party or a conversation with someone new. Visualizing success can help you feel more confident and prepared. Really access all your senses during your visualization and repeat.
4. Exposure: Gradually expose yourself to social situations that make you anxious, starting with small and manageable situations, and working up to more challenging ones. The more you face your fears, the more evidence you will have that they are not true (for example, that people are judging you) and the less power they will have.
5. Mindfulness: Focus on the present moment and try to avoid dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. This can help you feel more grounded and less overwhelmed by your anxiety. Try tuning into your senses and naming things you can see, hear, feel and smell to slow down.
Social anxiety can be a debilitating condition, making it difficult to engage in social activities and form meaningful connections with others. However, many people can overcome their social anxiety and improve their quality of life. With July being a month of social gatherings and barbecues, it’s an excellent opportunity to seek help and begin the journey toward overcoming this condition.
